Secrets of the Fearless

That is what this week has been, really quite uneventful. There has been a load of boring Head Girl stuff but honestly I cannot be bothered to go into detail about it as it's too time consuming and I just can't be arsed. However, one girl, N seems to be very chummy with W at the moment and I don't really like it, it's getting on my nerves actually.

I saw A sometime this/last week but for the life of me I can't remember...Wait, now I can. I think it must have been sometime last week,  I had just signed myself out at reception and I opened the door. Walking towards me, was M and I'd seen him a few minutes ago and I'd kinda ignored him. So I smiled (I think) and he said something like 'You alright?' I wasn't paying too much attention as I'd just spotted A walking in behind him, so I kinda muttered 'Yeah'! and for some reason I turned towards the wall to hold the door open when really I should have face outwards because then I'd be able to talk to A. However, after M had gone through, he took the door from me and so I turned around and A said 'No bow today?' and I replied 'Nope nothing today!' while walking away. It's quite cute really because I could have ignored him and vice versa, he didn't have to talk to me but he did.

Today I saw him a couple of times, nothing major and no talking. In the morning I really had to go to the toilet after my first lesson, so I walked pretty speedy towards the next room intending on chucking my bag down and running to the loo. But as I got in there, J was standing reading the notice board so I stopped there and just as I'd started to talk to her, B came around the corner so I looked up and we did really tiny smiles at each other. I carried on talking to J and then as I couldn't keep her talking I had to say bye and I jogged towards the classroom, looking round the corner just outside the room I suddenly saw A and as I was still smiling, I carried on doing so.// I had quite a good view of him as I came out of the Staff room as he was walking in front of me so I unashamedly did some gawking :D Good times!
 
Then just as I was leaving to go home, I'd walked out into the playground and he was walking towards the dinner hall, but he was too far forward so he didn't turn around, so I carried on going into school, I'd just reached reception when I realised that I really should ring mum and tell her that I was leaving. So I had to go around in a big arsed circle to go back out into the playground, where I sat on a bench to ring mum/wait for A to come out. (God, I can be such a stalker!) But anyways, mum luckily took her time, and while I was sitting there I saw B down the side of the dining room, but he was talking to someone so he wasn't about to come my way any time soon. I looked down for a little bit trying to remember how to spell my school name, when I looked up A had come out of the dining hall and was walking back towards the building, I was a bit bummed because mum hadn't finished talking yet. so I ended the conversation as soon as I could, and by this time B was walking back towards school, when I got into the main corridor he was just coming in through the other door, so he was walking behind me but A had disappeared. But better that than nothing I suppose!

I had my first driving lesson the other day, it was as scary as hell but good fun. I can't steer to save my life, I manage to drift quite a bit but I good at everything else, like gears, pedals etc. it was good fun actually. I'll have another one next weekend not sure if I'm having any during the week though, we haven't sorted that out yet.

Off to go do some work for School Council and for Head Girl stuff.

xx
 

I swear I hadn't posted here for a least two weeks, strange goings on!


Tbh, not much has been hapening. Last week I was on half term so I couldn't see A, I went in for one day and in the morning he wasn't there, but in the afternoon, when I was leaving his car was there, so that meant that I managed to miss him in a whole three hours. That was a bit of a bummer. I saw him ever so beriefly on Monday at lunch, I was coming back from Greggs, and he was going towards it. I think he looked at me so I smiled, and he kinda smiled back, but I don't know. I also don't know for how long he had seen me for, because I was a fair distance from Greggs, and I'd just angrily overtaken some very slow walking people. Who know?! Other than that I haven't seen him for the last three days, and I won't again till next Tuesday. I di however see B as I was walking into school, from the playround. He'd walked in through the other door, and we met rather awkwardly at the joining of the two hallways, he had turned at the sound of the door opening and so I sorta smiled, he was walking towards the other doors, so I followed behind him. He held the door open for me but he didn't hear me say thanks, when we got to the next set of doors, he held them open to let me walk through first so I thanked him a bit louder, and he said 'You're welcome' I then very nearly skidded on a stone in the heel of my shoe but I managed to stroll it out. Lol. So yeah, that was the excitement of my week, in that department.

However, I've finished all my exams till next January!! Woohoo. I feel so relaxed now, I love it! Biology was a pain, it was difficult, and confusing but I tried, philosophy was unexpected. Unit two was good, I knew the first question and the second was fairly ok, whether I got in all the terminology and stuff I don't know. Unit one was painful, it was completely stupid, and tbh I don't know jack about Natural Law, so I rambled on about god knows what. Epic Fail!! Haha.

I am now sitting around the house, completely bored out of my brains, trying to keep myself occupied. I am doing some exercise now though, which is good, it's mainly tummy exercises, I've tried some leg ones but I don't really know how to do them so I don't think I'm doing them right.

I've joined Twitter - bad times. It is quite addictive admittedly, and I am finding all these celebs who I'm now following. Hehe, I've been accepted by Nathan Followill which I'm quite happy about, admittedly he's got like 4,000 other followers, but I'm sure that if he did just accept everyone then he'd not lock him posts. I'm enjoying it though lol.

Righto, I'm off.
xx

Yes, once again I have been a disgraceful LJ updater! I'm sorry!! But here is a new one.

Righto! On Saturday I went to Warwick Uni for their open day, and ... wow, it was so cool! It was really big but there was so many little green places all over the place. It was unbelievable! It was so lovely. I prefer it much more to LSE atm, that was nice but it was in the center of London and there was no sense of getting out of the city or of a community and I know I'd be late for every lesson, as I'd be trying to push myself through millions of tourists and workers on the streets each day. TBH, it's a bit too close to home for my liking. I'm meant to be becoming more independent but if I went there then I'd be just half an hour away from home on the train. By car, Warwick is about 2 hours away - quite good I say! I'm going to nottingham at the end of June, which hopefully should be good. Looking forward to it anyways.

I went in for the position of Head Girl last week and guess who got it?! Me!! It was horrible and terrifying but so exciting too. We had to write a letter to the head of year, stating why we wanted to be HG and what we'd bring to the role, then the night before, we had to make a presentation with basically everything we wrote in the letter but in more detail, and  then answer questions from a panel. Tbh I didn't think I'd get it, so it was an absolute surprise that I did! Hopefully mum'll take me to Tiffany's or Wright & Teague soon, probs in the summer though, to get a celebratory present/birthday present. So really I should start looking. Ah well, I really can't be bothered. I have to be in the right mood. We have the loveliest guy working at our school, we shall call him A, he is a little older than me but he is really sweet and always smiles at me. I really want to start writing down our meetings but I'm worried that if I do then I'll start forgetting them, I don't want to do that because they always give me lolz.

I got a great tan yesterday, I sat outside in the sun, revising for biology, got slightly sun burnt but all's good, nice and brown now. Well...at least my upper half at least. :D I hate revising, it's so depressing seeing all the stuff I don't know.

I've also lost my USB which completely sucks! I've looked everywhere! It's completely disappeared!! I think there is something living in my room which is stealing all of my stuff, not fun.

Off to go look for said USB, I hope this incredibly long post makes up for 22 weeks of silence.

xx

Oh My Gosh!! Never guess who I'm going to see? Kings of Leon!!!!!! I'm so lucky to get these because mum was meant to be ordering over the phone but that didn't work so she went onto the computer and started to do it herself, and then dad came home and ordered them too because mum's said standing and then when she went to the checkout it said seated. So dad managed to get STANDING TICKETS for June. I've got a countdown of about 6 months and I am so excited already, it is going to be so good and I'm going to rub it in a lot of peoples faces the day before and when I get back. Wohooo!

Also, I'm going to the Royal Albert Hall to watch Lord of the Rings being played on a huge HD screen while the London Philharmonic Orchestra play the soundtrack. Isn't that just the coolest thing you have ever possibly heard of before?! It should be amazing, I am such a LotR nut! I'm going to have to abstain from watching the film for a good month before I go! AAHHH EXCITEMENT!

The loveliness which is Caleb & Jared Followill


 

Feast your eyes on that
xx

Ok so I've not been very good with the whole updating thing, but I blame school - It's too demanding and also blame my sister, she's been hogging the computer!! Damn her!

I've been trying to choose myself a phone it's very hard to do. I quite want the new Sony Ericsson one but it'll be really expensive and with the line rental and everything, I may go for a touch screen tbh, probably a Samsung.

Who had the greatest holiday in Turkey last week? Me!

Turkey as a country is very beautiful, we were staying in a little hotel in Akyalar, which was very nice except for a few problems with the bathroom and stuff. Everyone there were really friendly, and all of the other English families would talk to each other, so that was good. Oh, and another plus was that we had two of the fittest guys working there! o m g. One of them didn't speak a lot of English but was really sweet and went out of his way to help or at least find someone who did speak English....the other one came like two days from the end of our holiday and he spoke quite good English so he was always coming over to talk to me when mum & dad weren't there. According to mum, he hugged me for too long when we left which made me laugh quite a lot. I have a ridiculous amount of Turkish music stuck in my head now seen as in the eating area there was a constant tv on so I'm now very much into Turkish music! lol.


I just started 6th form the other day. It's quite fun so far, some of my subject teachers seem a bit blah to be honest but I've managed not to kill myself yet! woohooo.

It's just been constantly raining so far. It was funny because when we were on the plane the pilot said 'We have landed safely at the airport, and the ground temperature is currently 13 degrees.' Not so bad you say? Lets take into consideration I've just come from a country which average temperature while we were there was 30 degrees!! It's absolutely horrible. I hate the rain at the moment. I also have around 30 mosquito bites! They've mainly gone now but they absoutely killed me when they were first there!

I'll leave you with one of my favourite photos.

I had this whole big thing on the Olympics typed up just now and the computer decided to lose it all . FFS! So annoyed. I'll type it up again in a minute, I have to calm down before I punch a hole in this computer screen

I don't think I've ever really appreciated all of the work and time and effort that goes into making a fanfic until today. It's been absolutely ages since I last posted something, and to be honest I haven't really wanted to post anything for a long time. I wrote something a couple of weeks ago, it was about 12 in the evening and I couldn't get to sleep. I managed to write about half of it, but then it hit 'the wall' and that is where my brain has been at the foot of since May last year. Actually my peak writing years was 05 - 06. 

In 2005 I wrote 6 stories, 2 in June, 2 in August, September & October.
In 2006 I wrote 8 (inc. chapter updates), January, February, March, April, May June & July.
In 2007 I wrote 2, January & June.
In 2008 I wrote 1, August.

Do you see what I mean? So I had just laboured over my computer typing it out, and although it's quite short I'm still rather happy with it. It's one of the first stories to be written from me which isn't angst ridden like usual, i seem to have an affinity to them actually. But It's also one of the first stories in some time which I have written which actually makes me feel happy when I have finished reading it. I hope it does well because I'm quite proud of it and it's simplicity. I wish that one day I'd write a great story and get loads of reviews for it. It's quite sad sometimes to see some of the stories, even oneshots having 30+ reviews, ah, I aim high do I not. lol.

The Olympics are starting tomorrow and I'm so excited! I love big sporting events. I really hope that GB do well. I think that we have a better selection of people in it than last time, and I don't remember such enthusiasm and intrest in any of the other games either! It's so weird, but then I suppose it's because we'll be hosting it next time so it's just getting more people into it and supporting the teams so that when we host it, there'll be lots of intrest in going to the games. I love Tom Daley, not love as in 'in love', but I do love him, he's so sweet and cute, I want to pinch his cheeks everytime I see him! And Mark Foster! He is positively sinful! Can you tell I have a thing for swimming? lol. He's been nominated by the team to hold the flag in the opening ceremony tomorrow. Which is really nice. Oh I can't wait!!

We have some seriously weird weather at the moment, because it's been so warm and humid-like we keep on hearing these rumbles of thunder and flashes of lightening and quick spurts of rain. So odd.

I'll leave you with the greatness which is Mark Foster, even though I cannot find a decent picture, this'll have to do.


xx

So, I have been told yesterday that my activity on my beloved site must be ceased. What am I to do??

I could carry on going on there and ignore the request/demand, and then get grounded forever. Or I stop going on there and respect their request/demand or I could go cold turkey sort of and leave it for a couple of months till all the hype has died down. 

But that leads me to two questions, 1. has the parent already told the other parent, 2. will anybody actually miss me from said beloved site? To answer my own questions in this undeniably cool way seen as no-one else will (unless its you parent 1 - so dont even think about carrying on reading!!) So, my answers to my questions 1. I don't think so, as she hasn't said anything to me and she hasn't got a great track record for being subtle so its slightly more likely that he hasn't said anything to her.... 2. Again, I don't really think so to be honest.

Its not like I'm some valued member or anything (even though I've contributed over 5000 posts to them) I suppose compared to some of them which are coming in at over 30,0000 posts, mine is like a little mouse next to their giant elephant. Ever since the start I've felt like that, there is this one group that are like the leaders, they all reply to each others posts and to be honest, don't really care about anyone else, which is quite depressing. I'm going to send a message to Ariel to see if she can email my horoscope thing over to me as well because I won't be able to pick it up on there. I was thinking about asking her to pass on a message to everyone but then again I may not because half of them won't notice, and they'll still be pining over whatsherface going on holiday. God, this sucks!

I really want to ask whats the point of not letting me on it anymore. I've been a member there since either 2004 or 2005 for God's sake, so I really don't see what the fuss is all about. I was going to ask parent 1 about it, and I was getting myself all ready and whatnot last night but I have officially chickened out. I might ask tomorrow but it's highly unlikely.

I can't even ask J about it because she's run off on holiday, I have not credit to text her and her computer has gone bust...I think the 'higher beings' have done it on purpose to teach me a lesson. It's been a day nearly and i'm already bored out of my brains, I'm also trying to find a holiday for us but to no avail I think that this too is a message but 'up there' trying to tell me that I'm not meant to be going on holiday. Gah!

I'm going to try and email J, even though she's not at home there is the very possible chance that her gran has a computer & wants to let her use it *crosses fingers*

I think that this whole process of writing things down is very theraputic, at least as theraputic as it can be since really I'm only talking to myself and so wouldn't that mean that instead of it helping me its actually turning me insane seen as I'm talking to myself....not good. 

Off to go wallow in my own self pity, excuse me

Note: I've finally got Pride & Pejudice on DVD now!!! I'm so happy, I've watched it so much already. I want to eat Mr Darcy's face at points during the film, and minus the whole too-much-forehead-showing-parts, it's pretty much the entire thing! His voice too! Lord, it's so lovely, all gravelly in parts but soft and lovely and I think I'm going to die! Lol. 

So it's not the greatest of pictures but I really can not care!

So Federer didn't win against Nadal. It was quite upsetting having to sit there and listen to my mum harp on about how Nadal was practically God's gift to mankind...pfft, Obviously she's so enamoured by Nadal she hasn't been paying Roger any attentention because if she had she'd realise that Roger was/is so much better than Nadal! I refuse to talk any more on this subject.

However i was so proud of GBR's Laura Robson, she was so good and deserved the Junior Champion title. She's so cute, i feel like pinching her cheeks.

I'm really excited at the prospect of going to sixth form, having to get all of the clothes and everything. Hopefully the subjects will be good too. I went and helped out at the sports day on Friday which was lots of fun. Mr F unfortunately keeps on thinking i'm only turning up to these sorts of things because i'm trying to get in and start my head girl campaign early, which is good in a way if he recognises my efforts in being the only yr 11 to turn up and help, but it's also bad because i dont want him to think i only turned up for that reason, because i do enjoy sports day and was quite unhappy when i found out that we weren't doing it this year because of study leave.  I think i'm going to take Politics as my A level, it seems interesting and the class is quite small so that means i'll be able to get more help if need be and i'm pretty sure i'll be able to get over my hatred of Miss T's voice. Lol.

I dont know what i'm going to do with my Thursdays from now on, seen as House & Grey's Anatomy have finished (GA by the way was very emotional and sad for me which wasn't fun. A little cheesy in places too but it was good cheese not too much.) I hope that the new series of CSI start soon, i think it's going to be a new Miami season coming up. fingers crossed!

I want my hair cut, it's around the bottom of my shoulder blades at the moment but i want it cut short like the way Liv and Alexa Chung have it now. Hopefully i'll be able to get it done before i go on holiday (where to, we dont know yet either lol) but that should be near the end of August so it'll still be nice for the start of school. i love the feeling after you've cut your hair, it's so good, and it takes such little time to dry instead of the montrosity at which my hair seems to take to dry at the moment.

Much like this



xx

Oh dear, oh dear. Sadly, Andy didn't win the match against Nadal. I thought when he was 2 sets down that he might just be able to pull out of it like he did on Monday agasinst Gasquet (?) but no such luck. It was quite a rubbish game, very suspenseful but all in all, rubish. Hopefully next year if i go Andy will go further than the Quarter finals, this was the first time he's ever been in the quarters but maybe next year e will get into the semi's?! It's like going up in stages. So, fingers crossed for him. I don't want Nadal to win the finals, it's ovbious that he will be in it, but i really don't want him to win, I want Roger to win then he will also be beating Bjorn's records of winning 5 Wimbledon games in a row, he's already equalled it but, one more is always better lol.

Roger's playing today acually, so it Nadal. Whoops. one of them has started, probably Rogers. Hold on. Yes, he is playing, he's currently one set up which is good so far. Nadal must be playing after him today.

I cried about 4 times in 2 hours last night. Damn you House & Grey's Anatomy. It was season 4's finale and Amber had just died and House was in the inbetween stage and Amber told him he had to get off the bus because it wasn't his turn to die yet. House was really worried because he knew that Wilson would hate him because it was his fault in a way. So when House woke up, Cuddy was asleep in the chair next to him and Wilson was just looking at him from the doorway, then when he saw that House was awake he just turned and left.. Some serious crying going on there! And then in Grey's Anatomy, Derek found Meredith but she was parctically dead and so when she was taken to the hospital it showed all of her intern frineds getting the message of how & where she was through their pagers and you could just see their faces fall and they all rushed off to where she was and everyone was upset and everyone's crying and then inside the room Derek's ex wife was telling Meredith not to die because she knew what it would do to Derek and Derek's ex best friend came and sat with him, even though Derek doesn't really like him anymore. Then right at the end Meredith.... died sorta andeveryone was staring at the monitors. It showed a clip of next week and one of them was Christina standing there looking a mess shouting 'Do it again' or something. Super sad!!

I'll probably choose Government & Politics for next year tbh, it's a smaller group and so it'll be a bit better, i just have to see which teacher i prefer and if i understand what the hell they are talking about to me. WOOHOOO!

I love Clemence Poesy, she's so lovely and pretty and she can speak French lol.

 

Oh how I love Tennis! Why exactly, I have no idea. I remember last year vaguely watching it but I didn't see much of it seen as I was at school again I think. But this year, since I've taken all of my exams I haven't got much to do so i now sit around at home spending my day watching tennis most of the time.

At the moment I want Roger Federer to win, not just because he is ridulously cool and oddly attractive but also because I think he's great at tennis. Rafael Nadal is also very cute, but i don't really want him to win this year. He's great at tennis but he's also younger than 'The Fed' and so he has more time to win later on. My mum is practically in love with the guy! Unfortunately for Andy Murray he is playing said Nadal today, I wish him luck! It would be amazing if he won however it is quite unlikely but not impossible. This Mario Ancic is bugging me quite a bit, everyone is talking about him being 'The last man to beat Roger Federer' good for him!! I hope all of the pressure that is being put on him is too much and he loses in straight sets. If 'The Fed' doesn't get through to the finals I will cry and then probably go stalk Ancic and egg his car.....ok, so I wont really but you get the idea, also note that if that does happen to him, it wasn't me! lol

I don't really care about the women's games. They all make too much noise (come on, Maria Sharapova!!) and the games are quite boring. Then again maybe it's just my sub-concious prefering to watch men run around...hhhmmmmm. Jancovic (i think) was complaining at having to play on court 18, saying that 'It was like playing in the parking lot, I almost had to take a helecopter to get there!' Who cares?! She sould be greatful that she was even there in the first place! For God's sake some people are just so fussy.

Mum said she's going to try and get me tickets for next year which would be very nice hehehe.

I have no idea what subjects to choose for A Levels next year, I've chosen the first three but I'm stuck on the last one, bloody A levels. Mum is pushing me to take French but i know that i will get a crap mark so there is no point. She says that she will get someone to help me if I want but what's the point of having to sit there and get help for a subject? If i can't do it without any help then there isn't a pint of me doing it in the first point is there?!

There is a serious amount of birds in my garden. Quite scary tbh, and it's just started to rain again! Great....

Off to go watch the tennis again, i hope it stops raining soon down there because Roger & Ancic haven't come on yet. However, i do love his cardigan which he is currently sporting, it's very nice!

It actually made me laugh when I saw what the prompt for this 'Writer's Block' thing was. Over on LLT, There are a few people cougharwencough who seem to be madly in love with the whole concept of vampires, and rightly so judging from the descriptions of the two different races from Twilight & New Moon (i think) by Stephenie Meyer. I must say she paints both characters in a great light, neither of them want to go out and kill people because a) they are thirsty or b) it's a full moon, it's a nice new way of presenting the characters.

If I used the traits of these characters from the series of books to base what I would rather be then I must say, I would be quite a nice vampire/Werewolf! This however doesn't help my initial thought when I read said prompt, what would I rather be? I will though be using the characters as the basis on how I would like myself to be, unless stated otherwise.

Vampires seem to have a good life, they can go outside during the day once they aren't in the direct sunlight, they aren't scared of garlic or crosses, they can eat...to an extent, and they never die! I must admit that is a little turn off, would I really want to stay under 20 for the rest of my life? Watch while everyone around me slowly dies off, and the whole idea of having to move to different places after you begin to look too young for you 'age' that means a lot of hassle, and you always have to go to the trouble of having to find new friends. Although you could go to the extreme of becoming a social recluse and not having any other friends outside your own vampire family, this means no emotional attatchment ot anyone that you will eventually have to leave behind.

Werewolves seem to have quite a good life too, go around protecting the people, eating baddies etc etc. lol. They seem to have it easier too though. They dont have to leave behind any of their family and friends because they have an unusual lifespan. You do however, have the chance to be killed or badly hurt when you're around them so I suppose that that too is a turn off. You're not really shunned by the community because they know of the genes and they know what happens where as for vampires they are shunned by society and are looked down upon so that isn't the best sort of life to live is it?

So really this hasn't cleared up what my preference would be has it? I think tbh I would rather be a vampire, it's much more mystery and drama also it is less hassle than having to change form into a werewolf, as you're constantly living with it. I wouldn't like to be one of the vampires which have no friends and becomes a sosicial reluse, as that would be one hell of a boring life.

On, another note. Urgh! My school is being an arse. Why can't I keep the subjects which I've already spent so long in deciding? Why do I have to come up with something else? I want to do the same subjects, all the rest are crap. Damn school *glares*

well, this is definately a bloody long post which makes up for some of the long arsed gaps which make up my posting history lol. Although no-one's read this at least i feel as if i've done something.

Dear myself

from now on, i swear i will start to post more often. even though no-one reads this, its good because it lets things off my chest and makes me feel better.

i will. i must. aarrrrrggghhh i cant.

yes i can

xx

im really not in the mood today. im going back to school in a couple of days and i've still got a mountain of hw to do. but i just cant be bothered.

my friend is once again going through one of those 'oh i really like this guy' and wont stop talking about him, i feel like banging my head against the desk repeatedly.

the computer is boring me. i wish i'd gone to the library earlier coz then i would have something to read, but there are no new, good fanfic stories and no new interesting news about anything which is mindnumbing. i like that word. its like my new word that i use all the time, and so is horrid. its an odd word but i like it and you never hear anyone saying it.

wwhhheeee!!! whos getting their hair cut on wednesday?? i am! haha. finally. i dont think im going to get it highlighted again because i kinda miss my natural colour. but my hair reaches just above my elbow so its all going to be chopped off up to my shoulders. its going to be different having such short hair, because when its long it is heavy but when its short its all light. im excited!

i feel slightly better now...

it is terribly boring having to listen to the same argument over and over again. i feel like whacking my mother repeatedly and just tell her to snap out of it, and stop starting arguments. shes so defensive its ridiculous.

she never takes the blame for starting arguments, she just tries to fling it onto dad, and so now i feel like whacking her even more than before.

URGH!!!

wow. a new revelation happened today!! me and mum actually went out shopping today and managed not to kill each other!! how proud are you

lets just overlook the slight arguments we had.

it was fun-ish and i got a new green coat, a brown jumper, a grey cardy and a black dress. she was in a giving mood!! woot

i had so much fun at the weekend! i had to go on a retreat for my confirmation and it was brill. i met so many new people and saw all the people that i had forgotten about from primary school. absolutely loved it!!

oh joy of joys, i'm back at school today!! WOOOOHHHHOOOO can you sense my excitement?

i feel like going to sleep. i've been back for one day and it feels like i never had easter!

i'm not even bothering to talk to Barry if i dont have to. i smile and ask her to look at something to help me but thats it. i dont say anything more than that, and to be honest i couldn't care less. i have another great group of friends that are there and they are more fun than just one person who's 15 turning 20.

i need a hair cut. its going kinda split ended and its annoying, but i like the length. lol, for all the moaning i've done over the past couple of years i dont actually mind it being long. but i wsh it was in better condition. ah well i cant perform miracles, if anyone out there does feel free to talk to me lol.

see, i get bugged when people copy each other. i mean its cute when its a pair of 5 year old twins but as you grow up you have to start finding your own style, youre own views and your own tastes.

So, when one of my good friends- Jeffie started to copy my other friend- Barry i started to get irritated. Barry is a grunger/punk/goth-ish person, she basically ca not make up her mind, but it suits her because shes always been doing it, ever since i knew her from primary school shes always been one (apart from the stint with Spicegirls but then we can all say that we were the same.) however Jeffie isn't. it wasn't a stage that she grew into, it was so quick that it blurred. Barry had been going on about some band that she liked and it felt as if the next week that was all Jeffie had on her ipod.

i could deal with this - slightly. but then it can to me, i have been going on about a motorbike for years. how when i was older i'm gonna get one (wishful thinkning- but we can all dream) and a few months ago Jeffie comes out with "i'm going to go there (motorbike shop near me) wo get my motorbike" i laughed it off not really caring. but then a couple of weeks ago Jeffie has been going on about "OMG! that hairbands green - i want it!" or "green top, i'm going to get it." once again i dont have a problem with green - in fact its one of my favourite colours but it just annoys me that just because its one of my fav colours she has to go out and get all this green stuff. i mean her fav colour was black & pink (going through the Barry stage) so how come its changed all of a sudden??
people say you should be happy that someone wants to copy you or your style coz it means that they look up to you.....but i dont!! im fucking annoyed!!

wow felt good to get that off my chest.